They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
