Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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