He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
