When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
