what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
