She's JV to your varsity
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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