There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
