saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
