your thong is hanging out like whoa
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
