i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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