I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
