when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
