she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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