The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
