did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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