she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
