im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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