how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
