I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
