Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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