Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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