I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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