rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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