wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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