I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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