I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
