Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
