just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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