i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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