Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
