Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
