you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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