to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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