brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize