i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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