My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
