It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
