note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
do nipples grow back?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
