Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
