im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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