low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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