I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
