Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize