Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
