last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
