Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
