big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
