Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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