Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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