Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
