Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
