what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
