just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
