You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
