his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
