maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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