oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize