Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
