On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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