nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
