Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
