Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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